Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Flipping Out

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, flipping out is when a modern orthodox child goes to Yeshiva in Israel and over the course of his studies becomes Chareidi. This phenomenon has become so common that actually academic psychological studies have been employed to incorrectly (as is the common outcome of most social science studies) explain the root cause of this phenomenon.

People commonly approach me and say:
"Yitzchak Zev Soloveichik, you are the foremost recognized authority on the Yeshiva world, how do you explain the phenomenon of flipping out among so many of the modern orthodox youth studying in Israel today?"

I too (though only initial because as soon as I had given it any thought the answer became very clear to me.) was somewhat perplexed. How is it that after eighteen years of child rearing in a modern Orthodox culture that in the space of less then a year a young Yashiva Bachur (in a modern Yeshiva no less) will so fully rejects his roots. I believe the answer can best be explained with the following anecdote.

I was at a family gathering a little over a year ago and the discussion over dinner revolved around the issues of Shmitah. This is a common topic during the Shmittah year in any family where different Hashkafic view points exists and explanations must be given for refraining from eating at relatives homes. I take the most logical and undeniably Halachikly true opinion that while certainly one should attempted to get there produce from Otzer Bies Din, if they can't the next best thing would be heter machirah, and last but not least if you are at some of your blacker cousins' houses and they are paying close attention to what you stick in your pockets, then you can eat BaDa"Tz products so as not to embarrass your host for there lack of Torah knowledge.

After expounding on this opinion for a short while a Rebbi in a modern Orthodox Yasheva responded that while he theoretically agrees (as if there is room for legitimate disagreement), it is a practical fact that he could not run the Yeshiva kitchen on Otzer Beis Din (OBD) and kadushas shveis (KS) because the bachurim would not be carefully dispose of produce and would end up throwing it out in the garbage (for those of you not living in Israel, this is a bad thing). It was therefore necessary for the Yashiva to have the lowest level of hashgacha in the form of the BeDa"Tz. When I told him that during the previous Shmittah in KBY (Kerem B'Yavneh) We had passed around a pot at the end of each meal were all kidishas shvis was placed for safe keeping, the Rebbi replied that while this works in KBY his talimidim were not on that level and could not be trusted to perform such a task. Apparently the mechanical motion and opposable thumbs required for grasping, lifting, and setting down objects found in most apes and KBY students is not commonly seen among Modern Orthodox Yeshiva Bachurim.

It occurred to me at the time that The Rebbi's Reasoning contained two flaws, both of which illuminate the genesis of the "Flipping Out" Phenomenon. The first mistake was that since the Yeshiva was unable to maintain the correctly (i.e. my own) stringent standards of kashrus they should at least conform to the generally accepted, though thoroughly ridiculous, kashrus standards of the Yashivish Velt at large, rather then adopting the more correct Bideved standard of kashrus. This mistake actually gives the air of legitimacy to the Yeshivas hashkafa to the students at the MO yeshiva. The students are in a sense being told by their own Rebaim that Modern Orthodox kashrus standards are less correct then the Chariedi one their yeshiva adopts.

The second and more serious mistake was the Rebbis opinion that "His students are incapable of the diligence required for kidushas shvies. This is fatal. The Rebbi does not believe in his own talmidim, and therefore subconsciously does not believe in himself of his way of life either. After over a decade of watching half of His talmidim switch their leather Kippas for Borsalinos, move into squatter holes in the wall in Geulah to learn at the Mir or some similar yeshiva he still doubts the resolve of his students. What could be more deflating to an eighteen or nineteen year old's ego then to know the person who is entrusted to teach him in the ways of Hashem and the Torah does not believe in him.

It is at this most vulnerable stage that the Yishivish Hashkafa kicks in. In every MO Yeshiva, be it KBY, MTA, Shalavim or The Gush (well, not the Gush) there is always at least one hired gun from a black Hat Yeshiva, usually brought in for Mussar Sedar. After all who better to tell you that there is something wrong with the way you lead your life and what you believe then a guy who actually despises the way you lead your life and what you believe in. This Rebbi is actually paid by the MO Yeshiva to seek out its emotionally weakest students with the biggest self confidence problems and mold them in the Image of this Rebbi.
How does he do it?
What does he say?
He tells the student everything he wants to hear.
"You aren’t the worst one here, you're the best. See all these Rebbim here with their srugies and there YU educations (the Rebbi will give a particularly nasty frown and sound especially disgusted when he gets to the YU education part), they are nothing compared to you. You don't need an education or a career to be better then them. Adarabah, collage, work, and self-sufficiency, are the Yatzer Harah. All you have to do is change who you are, what you believe, how you dress to automatically transcend the life of mediocrity that you were raised and educated in. Just become one of us and that makes you better then all of them."

And believe you me this is easier to accomplish then you might imagine. What does this Yeshiva Bachur have to do to become a member of the elite and surpass his old Rebaim who have been dedicating there whole life to torah. All he has to do is change what he dresses from Kakis and Polos to White shirts and Black wool pants. Replace the leather yarlmukah with a black velvet one, stop bathing more then once every couple of weeks, and refuse to trust his parent's kashrus at home. Remember he is a teenager despising and looking down on his parents is second nature, and besides is new rabbi tells him it’s a mitzvah to do it. In a few short months he has surpassed all his peers and old Rebaim in the world of torah, and he hasn't even learned all that much. What could be more gratifying?!!!

So the question all the MO Roshi Yeshiva ask me is:
"Yitzchak Zev Soloveichik" You are of course correct in all that you say but what can we do to combat this? Please help us, we beseech you"!!!

Obviously it would be wrong to employ the same cultish tactics of acceptance and superiority that the Black hat world has so effectively executed. But what we can do is not make the mistake of the Rebbi who I ate dinner with (yes that’s right don't eat dinner with me). Don't sell your students, your yeshiva or yourselves short. Believe in all of them. Stand up in front of your students and say we are a yeshiva whose Rebaim are part of the direct line of Volozhin, and you are its students. You are the special few who have undertaken to steep themselves in the Torah of Moshe Misinai. The Torah we teach here, the way of life that we live here is the uncompromised will of Hashem. Nothing here is Bideved, our way is the right one.
If this seems arrogant, let me ask you something. If you don't believe it, what are you doing teaching it? And another thing, do you honestly think an impressionable young man yearning for direction, hearing this about themselves for the first time, won't be inspired. It is at least good enough to get them to throw their orange peels in a pot in middle of the table then getting up, walking across the room and throwing it out in the garbage.

1 comment:

  1. love your blog. All students should learn about rav gustmanztl. when will they print more books in english from the torah of your zaddik grandfatherztl

    ReplyDelete